No one wants to go to the family court.
OK, that’s not strictly true. It’s better to say `no one goes to the family court unless they feel there is another option’. They represent a last resort – if you can resolve the matter in hand without entering the legal system you should absolutely do so.
Asking a court to deal with a divorce, a dispute over children, or financial matters can be an awful experience. It can be intimidating, emotionally draining, and at times, downright confusing. If you’re facing legal proceedings, you probably have a million questions. What happens in court? What do I need to do? Do I need a solicitor? Can I do this on my own?
Just about everyone who goes through this system feels overwhelmed. They can also feel disempowered, a sense of unfairness and unjustness. It’s time consuming, stressful and often expensive.
The family court system in England and Wales exists to help resolve disputes, particularly when it comes to children and family relationships. While you might not always feel that way, the system aims to make fair decisions that prioritize well-being—especially that of children.. The process sees people – usually separating couples – going head to head with a court making a decision concerning some of the most important things in their lives.
It’s almost inevitable that at least some of the people going through it are going to leave feeling utterly miserable at the outcome.
This guide will walk you through everything you need to know, from how the family court works to what to expect at each stage of the process. Whether you’re working with a solicitor or representing yourself, understanding the basics can help you feel more prepared and in control.
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What is the Family Court and What Does It Do?
The Family Court legally resolves disputes involving family relationships. It’s part of the civil court system (as opposed to the criminal courts).
It covers everything from divorce and financial settlements to child arrangements, parental responsibility, domestic abuse protection orders, and even adoption cases.
Before 2014, family cases were heard in different courts depending on the situation—some went to magistrates’ courts, others to county courts, and some even made their way to the High Court. This led to confusion and delays. Lawmakers introduced the Family Court to bring everything under one umbrella, making the process clearer and more efficientt.
As it stands today, when someone makes an application to the Family Court, a decision will be made at the outset whether you’re going to be seeing a judge, magistrates or someone else. Within the family court there is a hierarchy of courts and the people who deal with them. From `lowest’ to `highest’ its:
- Magistrates
- Judges
- High Court Judges
Be aware that there are many types of judges you may come into contact with too. For relatively simple cases you’re probably going to see magistrates. For more complex cases, you’re more likely to have a judge dealing with your situation. In some circumstances, it could be a High Court Judge who may be at your local court but often at the Royal Courts of Justice in Central London.
The system is under strain. The courts try to triage cases to ensure matters are dealt with as best as possible. Over the years, the number of applications have risen and that trend is still continuing.
But while the structure has improved, the experience of going to family court can still be stressful. Unlike what you see on TV courtroom dramas, there are no dramatic outbursts or surprise witnesses. Instead, family court hearings are generally calm, structured, and focused on finding a fair resolution.
Over recent years much has been done to try to make things easier. You’re not going to see anyone in a wig or robes (apart from ushers outside the hearing itself). You won’t hear much `legal Latin’ being used and plain English being favoured where ever possible. The court is alive to the fact that an increasing number of people represent themselves and that many hearings are a `lawyer-free zone’ (something said by a previous President of the Family Law Division, Sir James Munby in a speech a few years back).
The advent of Covid had an impact too – many hearings went virtual. And while in person hearings are creeping back, they’re still relatively common because it can save an awful lot of time and stress for litigants.
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Do I Have to Go to Court?
Not necessarily. As I’ve already said, the court is usually the last resort when people can’t agree. Before you even think about filling out court forms, you’ll need to explore other options—mediation being the main one.
Mediation is a process where an independent mediator helps you and the other party (usually a former partner) reach an agreement. It’s often quicker, cheaper, and less stressful than going to court. In most cases, before you can apply to the family court, you must attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM)* to see if mediation is suitable. A MIAM is the bare minimum requirement before making an application – there’s even a section on the C100 form for the mediator to complete to show you’ve attended one.
However, there are exceptions. If there’s been domestic abuse, if the case is urgent (for example, if a child is at risk), or it’s likely that someone is going to take advantage of the delay to cause problems (such as removing the children to a foreign country rather than discussing things) you may be able to bypass mediation and go straight to court.
Now…this is the theory.
I’m going to incur the wrath of many mediators and solicitors by saying this: Mediation seldom works. And there’s a simple reason for this.
That reason is that – for want of a better way of putting it – possession (of the children, in child cases) – is effectively nine tenths of the law. Or to put it another way, a parent who is happy with the arrangment for the children has nothing to gain by attending mediation and everything to lose. Couple that with the family court paying a lot of attention to the status quo, the longer a situation is in place, the harder it is to argue that it should be changed. It’s something that litigants – and their solicitors – will inevitably rely on when an application is made.
Finally. Mediation is not legally binding. If you come to an agreement and one of you changes your mind, the court is the only arena to deal with matters.
* A MIAM is a meeting – not mediation itself.
It’s a meeting you’ll go to alone (your ex won’t be there) where you’ll have the opportunity to discuss your situation and what you want to achieve. Many mediators will – of course – be keen for your ex partner to attend a MIAM too, followed by mediation itself. If there’s a good chance it’s going to work, you should engage. If it’s apparent your ex partner is dragging out the process or not engaging in a meaningful manner however it’s worth considering if the court is more likely to be able to help you.
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The Court Process: Step by Step
If mediation doesn’t work—or isn’t an option—the next step is applying to the court. This is where things can start to feel even more overwhelming, but breaking it down into steps makes it more manageable.
Step 1: Making an Application
You’ll need to complete the right form, depending on your case. If it’s about child arrangements, for example, you’ll need Form C100. If it’s about financial matters, you’ll need Form A. You can fill out the forms online or on paper, and you must pay a court fee (though you might qualify for financial help).
There are a whole host of forms to complete for different situations. It’s sometimes appropriate to submit more than one form at once; in other situations there are certain sequences that need to be followed. Once submitted, the court processes the application and sends a copy to the other party. This process is called serving the application, and the recipient will have a chance to respond.
Every application has an associated court fee with it. This is separate to anything you’re paying a McKenzie Friend, solicitor or barrister for. You pay this fee directly to the court. It’s possible for some people to get fee remissions too if they meet financial criteria (you’re going to need to complete an EX160 form to do that).
The only free application is for a Non Molestation Order, incidentally. All the rest have a fee.
If you fill in the wrong form, make mistakes, etc. there are a number of possible outcomes:
- The court will send your form back to you. They probably won’t tell you what the mistake is. This will delay matters until you correct and resend it.
- You’ll get to court, and the court will delay proceedings while they work things out.
- You’ll get to court, and the judge will dismiss (shut down) your application without dealing with it.
It’s often not the end of the world if you make a mistake – but it will almost certainly cause delays and can cost you more money when you have to pay another application fee.
If you’re representing yourself it’s a good idea to make multiple copies of the forms, take them to the court and ask the staff to check them over to make sure they’ll accept them. While staff aren’t permitted to give you legal advice (if you ask, you’ll be told to speak to a solicitor) it’s better to be turned away at the start, rather than sending the forms and then having them posted back to you a few weeks later).
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Step 2: The First Hearing
Your first hearing for children matters —often called the First Hearing and Dispute Resolution Appointment (FHDRA)—is where a judge or magistrate will try to understand the issues and see if an agreement can be reached. For finance cases it’s called a Financial Dispute Resolution Hearing (FDR).
For child cases, a CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) officer may also sometimes be present to assess any risks or safeguarding concerns. Otherwise, there should be a `Schedule 2′ letter – a short report they’ve submitted that lists out basic facts about your case.
Courts almost never end a case at the first hearing. It is technically possible however. But you most definitely should not count in this happening. These hearings exist to help the court understand the basics of the case and work out a path going forward. It also gives you a chance to speak to your ex-partner (or their solicitor) to determine what you can and can’t agree on. Most of the `action’ takes place outside the court hearing – if it’s possible to narrow the issues and agree on some things before a court has to make a decision, it’s only every going to help you save time and money.
And here’s another fact—when you reach an agreement, the order is more likely to work, and you’re more likely to feel comfortable with it compared to one where the court imposes a decision on you, whether you like it or not
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Step 3: Further Hearings (If Necessary)
If the parties do not reach an agreement, the court may schedule more hearings. These might involve gathering more evidence, speaking to witnesses, or receiving expert reports (such as Cafcass recommendations).
At every stage, the judge will encourage both sides to compromise and reach an agreement. The longer the case goes on, the more stressful (and expensive) it can become. A case can be amiable, constructive and relatively simple. Or it can be long, tortuous, drawn out and painful – depending on how awkward/determined one or both parties are.
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Step 4: The Final Hearing
If the parties do not reach an agreement, the case will go to a final hearing, where a judge will make a legally binding decision. This is where both sides present their arguments, submit evidence, and answer questions. After considering everything, the judge will make a final ruling, and both parties must follow it.
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Representing Yourself: Can You Do It?
With legal costs soaring, many people now represent themselves in family court. While having a solicitor can be helpful, it’s not essential. If you’re acting as a litigant in person (LIP), you must prepare yourself.
And it’s important to say that increasing numbers of people who are fully able to fund a solicitor or barrister to represent themselves choose to do so.
Disclaimer: We admit our bias. We’ve huge advocates (pun not intended) for people representing themselves. With the assistance of people such as ourselves we’ve found that around 80% of people are fully capable of doing a great job in simple and complicated cases.
Tips for Representing Yourself:
- Know your case inside out – Be clear on what you’re asking the court for and why.
- Get familiar with court procedures – You don’t need a law degree, but knowing what to expect can help you stay calm.
- Organise your documents – Courts love paperwork, and so should you. Keep everything neatly arranged and bring copies.
- Stay calm and professional – No matter how emotional the case is, staying composed makes a good impression.
Help is available. While there are few free McKenzie Friends there are lots of resources out there (like our website!), as well as multiple professionals producing social media content, free guides and templates for anyone who needs to go completely alone.
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Divorce, Children and Finances
The Family Court deals with these 3 elements in different cases. It’s a common misconception that a `divorce’ case will deal with it all. That’s certainly the case in some US states, but here in England and Wales, it’s not.
They’re separate.
For married couples divorce is the first step. They’re now `no fault’ and can be done online. Once this step has been taken, a case for finances can be started. A finance case is not a legal requirement for divorcing couples. But beware: Spouses remain financially tied to together until a final order for finances are made. This only changes when someone remarries they can’t make a claim however.
For couples with children, an order isn’t a legal requirement either.
In fact the court would much rather parents work together to come up with child-focused arrangements. They’re much better thann one being imposed on mums and dads. This, of course, is the same for married and unmarried couples.
Finally…for married couples, where the children live post divorce will effect any financial settlement because `money follows the children’. The cases are independent, but they do influence each other.
I appreciate this can seem complicated…it’s why you may need some help!
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Decisions Involving Children
When a case involves children, the court prioritises the child’s welfare above all else.The family court will use the Welfare Checklist.
The Welfare Checklist lists the factors the court will consider when making decisions about children. It’s detailed in Section 1(3) of the Children Act 1989 in England and Wales. These factors help ensure that the child’s welfare is the paramount consideration in any legal proceedings.
These factors are
- The wishes and feelings of the child. The court considers the child’s views, taking into account their age and understanding. Older children’s opinions often carry more weight.
- The child’s physical, emotional, and educational needs. This includes basic needs like food, shelter, and medical care, as well as emotional well-being and access to education.
- The likely effect of any change in circumstances. The impact of changes, such as moving home, changing schools, or adjusting to a new living arrangement, is carefully considered.
- The child’s age, sex, background, and relevant characteristics. Cultural, religious, and other personal factors that may influence the child’s welfare are taken into account.
- Any harm the child has suffered or is at risk of suffering. The court assesses past harm and any potential future risk, including emotional, physical, or psychological harm.
- The capability of each parent (or other relevant person) to meet the child’s needs. The court examines whether each parent (or carer) can provide a safe and stable environment for the child.
- The range of powers available to the court. The court considers what legal options are available to ensure the best outcome for the child. These includes a Child Arrangement Order or a Prohibited Steps Order.
Judges use these factors to make decisions about child arrangements. If you’re representing yourself you should learn these factors: Your entire case should be based around them.
The court won’t automatically favour one parent over the other, regardless of gender either. What matters is what’s best for the child.
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Financial Matters and Divorce
Dividing finances after a divorce can be one of the trickiest parts of the process.
Section 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 details how the courts will deal with financial provisions in divorce cases. The overriding principle is fairness, but the courts do not follow a strict formula. Instead, they weigh each case individually, considering the needs, resources, and circumstances of both spouses. The welfare of any children is a primary concern, ensuring their needs are met first.
The key factors under Section 25 include:
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The welfare of any minor children – The court prioritises the needs and well-being of any children under 18, ensuring they have adequate housing, financial support, and stability.
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The income, earning capacity, property, and other financial resources of each party – This includes any present and future earnings, investments, pensions, savings, and assets available to either spouse.
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The financial needs, obligations, and responsibilities of each party – The court considers the current and future financial needs of both individuals, including living expenses and any ongoing financial commitments.
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The standard of living enjoyed during the marriage – While a strict continuation of the marital standard of living is not always possible, the court takes into account the lifestyle the couple had before the divorce.
- The age of each party and the duration of the marriage – Longer marriages often lead to more equal division of assets, whereas shorter marriages may result in less extensive financial claims. Age is also relevant for future financial needs, particularly regarding retirement.
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Any physical or mental disability of either party – If a spouse has a disability that affects their ability to work or support themselves, the court takes this into account when awarding financial settlements.
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The contributions made by each party to the welfare of the family – This includes both financial contributions (such as earnings and investments) and non-financial contributions (such as raising children or homemaking). The court recognises that caring for the home and children is as valuable as financial contributions.
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The court generally does not consider bad behaviour (such as infidelity) – in financial settlements unless it is extreme and financially relevant, such as reckless spending or financial misconduct. However, in exceptional cases, the court may take a party’s conduct into account.
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–Any loss of benefits due to the divorce – If one spouse loses valuable rights or benefits (such as pension entitlements or access to health insurance), the court may take this into account in determining financial provisions.
These factors guide the court in making financial orders, including spousal maintenance, lump sum payments, pension sharing, and property adjustments. The aim is to achieve a fair and reasonable outcome, ensuring that both parties can move forward after divorce with financial stability.
Both parties share all assets and liabilities too. It doesn’t matter who earned it or spent it. Who was given it or who inherited it. Or whose name it is in or on the title deeds. Trying to `ring fence’ assets seldom works.
Spousal maintenance is rare nowadays but it does happen. The court usually prefers a `clean break’ to where ever possible however. The court will also want – in an ideal world – both parties to remain housed and able to start again; but when assets are low and/or debts are high that’s not always possible. It’s often inevitable that people who separate will enjoy a lower standard of living after divorce compared to beforehand.
The Matrimonial Causes Act doesn’t apply to unmarried couples either. There’s no such thing as `common law’ spouses and there is no law to divide assets in the same way as for married couples. There is an area of law called TOLATA (or the Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act 1996). It is a key piece of legislation in England and Wales that governs disputes over property ownership between unmarried couples, family members, or cohabitees who are not married or in a civil partnership. Compared to the law divorcing couples face it’s often trickier and only applies to property.
This is one reason marriage is more than `just a piece of paper’.
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What About Domestic Abuse Cases?
Abuse and allegations of abuse are common in the family court.
It’s often the cause of separation and divorce – but sometimes a result (`situational violence’ – conflict-driven physical or verbal aggression that arises due to the stress, frustration, and heightened emotions of the divorce or separation process).
The family court can provide protection and allow individuals to seek it if needed however.
If you’re seeking protection , the court can issue non-molestation orders (to prevent harassment or violence) and (to determine who can stay in the family home). People will often refer to this as an `injunction’ (another American term); it’s distinct from harassment too which is a criminal offence.
>Legal aid is still available for victims of domestic abuse although litigants will have to meet financial criteria to be eligible, so if you’re in this situation, you may not have to pay legal fees.
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Recent Changes and Developments
Family law is constantly evolving (although some would say not fast enough and/or not in the right direction).
Some recent changes include:
- No-Fault Divorce (April 2022) – Couples can now divorce without blaming each other, reducing conflict.
- Greater Transparency in Family Courts – An increase in publishing details of more court decisions (while protecting identities) to help people understand how cases are decided.
- Increased Use of Remote Hearing– Since COVID-19, more hearings have taken place via video link, making court more accessible.
- Updating Practice Direction 12J (February 2024) that offers greater protections to people where domestic abuse is a concern.
- New guidance concerning Parental Alienation (December 2024) that the court will use to deal with this contentious issue – clarifying allegations and prioritizing Domestic Abuse Allegations.
<p>All of these are highly contentious but they demonstrate just a few of the recent changes that litigants face when entering the family court arena.
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Final Thoughts
Going to family court isn’t easy. It’s emotional, sometimes frustrating, and rarely anyone’s first choice. But understanding the process makes it a little less daunting.
Whether you’re sorting out arrangements for your children, dividing finances, or seeking protection, knowing your rights and options can help you feel more in control.
The most important thing? Stay calm, be prepared, and remember that this process is about finding a fair resolution—not “winning” or “losing”.
If you need support, don’t be afraid to reach out to legal professionals, support services, or organisations that can guide you through. You don’t have to go through this alone.
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